Brocklesnitch

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A War of Star

The new teaser trailer for Star Wars just came out this morning. I know a lot of you were probably at work or whatever so you couldn't watch it, so here's my trailer breakdown for it. You're welcome. 
  First, we are shown this. This tells us that the movie has been made by the famous 'Luc Asfilm' organisation. Nobody knows who Luc Asfilm is, it's one of Hollywood's biggest secrets.

 

First, we are shown this. This tells us that the movie has been made by the famous 'Luc Asfilm' organisation. Nobody knows who Luc Asfilm is, it's one of Hollywood's biggest secrets.

  We are shown the Australian outback. There is some kind of vehicle driving across the sand. It is going very fast. We are meant to realise that this futuristic land has no speeding laws and is therefore incredibly dangerous. 

 

We are shown the Australian outback. There is some kind of vehicle driving across the sand. It is going very fast. We are meant to realise that this futuristic land has no speeding laws and is therefore incredibly dangerous. 

  See, it is here already!

 

See, it is here already!

  The screen fades to black and a man says 'the force' is strong in his family. If he means the police force, i have news for him! The police force is just letting blatant speeders get away. The force is WEAK.

 

The screen fades to black and a man says 'the force' is strong in his family. If he means the police force, i have news for him! The police force is just letting blatant speeders get away. The force is WEAK.

  Someone finds Voldemort's skeleton

 

Someone finds Voldemort's skeleton

  A man pats a weird future robot dog on the head, and the sparks fly!! Because of same sex marriage now, in the future men are allowed to marry dogs. Good doggy. 

 

A man pats a weird future robot dog on the head, and the sparks fly!! Because of same sex marriage now, in the future men are allowed to marry dogs. Good doggy. 

  The man purchases a fancy future bone as a romantic gift for his next date 

 

The man purchases a fancy future bone as a romantic gift for his next date 

  This Christmas WHAT???????????? A new Santa Clause movie???? I KNEW it was time for a Tim Allen comeback

 

This Christmas WHAT???????????? A new Santa Clause movie???? I KNEW it was time for a Tim Allen comeback

  A man who i think is Hot Dogs from Hot Dogs Up Late wearing a helmet and goggles that appear too small and can't possibly serve as protection is bellowing with joy while he flies his plane.

 

A man who i think is Hot Dogs from Hot Dogs Up Late wearing a helmet and goggles that appear too small and can't possibly serve as protection is bellowing with joy while he flies his plane.

  Some humans are chased by a terrifying murderous giant soccer ball with a smaller ball on top of it

 

Some humans are chased by a terrifying murderous giant soccer ball with a smaller ball on top of it

  This is Banksy. Popularity has gotten to his head and he has become evil. Also he works in a welding factory now. I also suspect Banksy and Luc Asfilm are the same person, but don't tell Scientology i know.

 

This is Banksy. Popularity has gotten to his head and he has become evil. Also he works in a welding factory now. I also suspect Banksy and Luc Asfilm are the same person, but don't tell Scientology i know.

  The government, who are now the size of ants, stay on a stage protected by an army of soldiers made from refrigerator parts 

 

The government, who are now the size of ants, stay on a stage protected by an army of soldiers made from refrigerator parts 

  The future ant government use drones that were designed during by the 2017 american president. Notice Anything?? 

 

The future ant government use drones that were designed during by the 2017 american president. Notice Anything?? 

  This is a Star Pooper. He is usually very good at pooping as his name indicates, but today his game is off and he got some on his helmet. 

 

This is a Star Pooper. He is usually very good at pooping as his name indicates, but today his game is off and he got some on his helmet. 

  He is devastated. He is usually the most accurate Pooper on the Poop Patrol!

 

He is devastated. He is usually the most accurate Pooper on the Poop Patrol!

  The Poop master is coming to mete out his punishment. He has a verry werry frowny face emoji, that is a bad sign for our Star Pooper.

 

The Poop master is coming to mete out his punishment. He has a verry werry frowny face emoji, that is a bad sign for our Star Pooper.

  The evil volleyball. It waits. 

 

The evil volleyball. It waits. 

  This woman offers to let the upset and nervous man vomit into her hand

 

This woman offers to let the upset and nervous man vomit into her hand

  There is an ad for a new kind of vaccuum cleaner in the middle of the trailer.

 

There is an ad for a new kind of vaccuum cleaner in the middle of the trailer.

  Hairy Katniss and Helen Mirren have their own reality show in the future. It is like Kitchen Nightmares, except they come into town and shape up the town's police force. For example, they MAKE THEM CATCH SPEEDING CARS

 

Hairy Katniss and Helen Mirren have their own reality show in the future. It is like Kitchen Nightmares, except they come into town and shape up the town's police force. For example, they MAKE THEM CATCH SPEEDING CARS

  We find out we have been watching the trailer for "Star The Force Awakens Wars"

 

We find out we have been watching the trailer for "Star The Force Awakens Wars"

The End. Can't wait for this one guys!